Casting Call - Actresses

Greetings film fans and what a lovely sunny day to welcome in the Sabbath.

One feels blessed at this moment.

At another moment, one feels a baseless piece of excrement.

But that's all part of the rollercoaster of life, nahon? Nahon.

So we're prepping on two features here at my production company, so as usual, I'm sending out my feelers, to try and tap up some untapped talent - as usual, preference is always given to hot chicks with loose morals and legs. Actresses from the East, as per usual, always given special priority.

One of the reasons I do what I do, is it allows me to meet and get to know intimately such a beautiful range of people. I never have two days the same. And specifically, I never have two girls that are the same.

Except Mai Ling but the arrangement there is slightly different.

Its something my ex wife could never handle, but screw her. No, please, somebody screw her - she might get off my case then.

As the Sabbath approaches, I like to reflect on my life, do an internal spiritual audit of myself and how my being is affecting the world and those around me.

But my minds always gets interrupted by pussy.

I can't seem to get enough.

Is that a cover up?

Perhaps I'm gay.

At Schul, all the men have to sit together apart from the women. I never mind this too much - its always a good chance to talk shop and talk up one's latest projects.

Steve Spielberg actually goes to my local Schul so its always good to keep plugged in to his movements, and he feels the same way about me.

What not many people know about Steve is, he's actually a great carpenter. He carved me a little wood offering of a couple doing fellatio on each other - its really quite special. Steve doesn't go for the Asian girls so much as I do, he's more into the European look. He's a horny pest when he gets at it let me tell you - anyone who was at the Oscars after party last year can account for that. But more of that another time.

I must go, there's a line forming outside my door. I'm just off to talc my private areas.

Happy Sukot.

And as the Kabbalists say - give me all your money or I'll put a Jihad on your ass.

Baruch Hashemolovitch, kite.

Chaim.